Where's the Bottom?
I am sure anyone who has dealt with depression knows "The Hitting the Bottom Effect”…actually, I just made that term up. Basically, the “effect” refers to the course of a depressive episode from the point of descent, to the bottom, and finally ascending back to the point of the baseline. That sounded pretty scientific…huh...maybe my biology degree is paying off after all.
Well, my past experience with depression has always been that when I would first start feeling a depressive episode coming on I would just brace myself for the impending descent knowing that in a weeks time, or so, that I would get through it…and that made it that much more tolerable.
But, what I am experiencing now is something much more…I have been in this “depressive episode” since the beginning of December and I still feel like I am in freefall…and I keep thinking to myself...”Where’s the fucking bottom already!”
The only other time that I was this incapacitated was when I first left medical school and then I was literally bed-ridden for 6 months.
I am not even sure what my point in this post is…right now my mind is so clouded and disjointed that I am finding it hard to collect my thoughts…
Well, my past experience with depression has always been that when I would first start feeling a depressive episode coming on I would just brace myself for the impending descent knowing that in a weeks time, or so, that I would get through it…and that made it that much more tolerable.
But, what I am experiencing now is something much more…I have been in this “depressive episode” since the beginning of December and I still feel like I am in freefall…and I keep thinking to myself...”Where’s the fucking bottom already!”
The only other time that I was this incapacitated was when I first left medical school and then I was literally bed-ridden for 6 months.
I am not even sure what my point in this post is…right now my mind is so clouded and disjointed that I am finding it hard to collect my thoughts…
posted by Hopelessly Depressed at 3:08 PM
4 Comments:
I hope you make it through this time ok :) I'm glad that you are able to see the light ahead even when you are in the depths of it all :)
http://apnews.excite.com/article/20060124/D8FAN7284.html
I hope you all can access this link it is a new study that says walking can help depressive symptoms.
I know exactly what you mean. I did a blog on it myself. I have been depressed--again--for about 9 months. I have reason to be--it didnt just come out of nowhere--but that doesnt make it any easier. In fact--this time it seems to be the worst because I simply have no hope anymore. I am hopeless. And this is probably the first time in my life I have felt this way. With other depressive episodes, as bad as they were, I always felt there was a tiny pinpoint of light at the end of the tunnel. This time I dont feel that way. I dont have anything to look forward to, so I figure why bother? I cant think of one thing I really want to do, want to have--no real goals, etc. I just dont give a damn this time. God!!! Maybe that means I havent hit bottom yet--when you realize there's no where to go but up. I cant take much more. BTW, welcome to the Chronic Blues blogring--I am also a member.
Joyce,
Thanks...although, I am not sure if I am able to see a light.
MissTee2U,
Thanks for the link.
VIMH,
I am sorry you are feeling just as low as I am. I am with you about not giving a damn this time…and it is really a scary feeling. With us both feeling this low and desperate…hopefully we can help each other get through this if you want. What is the best way we can get in touch with each other?
-James
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